Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
