Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Randomize
