what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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