i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
One of your snapchats was of you with a 40oz of Mickeys and the caption: "Deep Throat back in her natural habitat"
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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