I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
