Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Boobs are out for the taking
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
