Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
