if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
Randomize
