I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
