No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
