that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
Randomize
