I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
I tried. Now my legs are bleeding and I cracked my head on the coffee table. Never taking your advice again.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Randomize
