just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
Randomize
