we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
Your cock deserves a montage
I used a jello pudding cup as a shot chaser last night. I'm the Bill Cosby of alcoholics
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
