some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
Randomize
