I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
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