I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Randomize
