so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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