I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
I'm drive I can fine osifer
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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