I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Drunk fuck. Had to tell him that the 5 second rule does not apply when your in the bathroom at the hockey game.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
