I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
She got engaged last night. I don't think you should ask her out man.
I just sent him a message bearing my soul about how much he means to me as a friend and his first response is "are you drunk?"
Shit like this is why I'm a bitch to everyone.
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
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