you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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