I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
