I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
Randomize
