also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
