Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
We will have to go big on the 4th! Nothing says independence like the impending doom of an ankle monitor
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
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