You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
Randomize
