It's like God shit irony all over that family
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
Randomize
