Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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