it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
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