...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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