just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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