Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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