at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
i still can't believe we survived that barcrawl. the third bar had bullet holes and we still went in.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
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