at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
