Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
