Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
We tried the hang n bang, remember? You ruined it by crying and telling me you loved me while blowing me.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Randomize
