I woke up this morning wearing my tux shirt and jacket, but no pants.
______ was pissed. My breath tastes like tequila and doritos, and I couldn't get it up.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
lets just use each other and get past this awkward stage. forget my name.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
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