just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
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