i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
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