I think i sorta joined a cult last night
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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