we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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