If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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