i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Apparently telling a group of crying girls that it looks like they need a visit from Dr. Phil isn't the best pickup line.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
