don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
she was drinking until 3, woke up at 7, shouted 'I'M STILL DRUNK" and went out for a jog in her thong
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
