My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize
