oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
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