i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
He posted a picture of my bra on facebook with the caption "I don't know who I hooked up with last night but if this is yours please come pick it up".
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
Randomize
