I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
