Is it normal to miss your booty call?
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Pretty sure i brought my phone charger to a booty call
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
