if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
