Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
just discovered a semi frightening wound on the side of my head that must have happened last night. if i die of a brain aneurysm, make sure they put "sorry for partying" on my gravestone.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
