And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
