It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
he puts the penis in happiness.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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